Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode--and into a Life of Connection and Joy

Aundi Kolber uses trauma-informed therapy and Christian spirituality to challenge the habit of pushing through emotional pain with sheer willpower. She explains how the nervous system stays stuck in fight, flight, or freeze states when people ignore their internal limits. The text introduces the concept of white-knuckling, where individuals force themselves to perform despite exhaustion. Kolber outlines practical methods like grounding exercises, body scans, and self-compassion to help readers stay within their window of tolerance. This framework integrates clinical psychology with faith to address how the body processes historical stress and current anxiety.

This book serves people who struggle with chronic perfectionism, burnout, or high-functioning anxiety. It attracts readers who feel they must constantly hustle to be worthy or those who feel disconnected from their physical sensations. By following these techniques, the reader gains tools to regulate their emotional responses and quiet their inner critic. They learn to replace aggressive self-discipline with a gentler pacing that supports mental health. The final result is a shift from reactive survival behaviors toward intentional living and deeper interpersonal relationships.